Former Wales backs coach Rob Howley says he wants to return to rugby when his ban for breaching betting rules ends on 16 June.
In December 2019, Howley was banned from rugby for 18 months, with nine suspended, for placing 363 bets on 1,163 matches over four years.
Howley was sent home from the World Cup in Japan a week before Wales' first game against Georgia.
"I want to get back involved in the game," Howley told the Mail on Sunday.
An independent Welsh Rugby Union disciplinary panel found Howley made the bets over a four-year period, including some on Wales games that included first try scorers.
The death of Howley's sister Karen in 2011, who had battled depression and alcoholism, was identified as a trigger for his betting activity by the disciplinary committee.
Howley had been lined up to take charge of Italy before it fell through and had been approached by Wasps in December 2019 prior to Dai Young leaving the club.
"I'm the same coach now as that was part of a Grand Slam winning team," said Howley.
"Given my experience of the last nine months, I'd like to think it will benefit me as a coach. There is no anger or guilt left in me about my sister and I can reflect on her life in a positive way.
"What I've learned is it's important to talk about feelings, instead of suppressing them and hoping they'll go away. There's no shame or weakness in showing emotional vulnerability."
Howley revealed guilt after not paying his sister a visit before her death and had agonised over his decision to find her a place to live away from their mother.
Robert Howley won 59 Wales caps and two more for the British and Irish Lions at scrum-half between 1996 and 2002
"I blamed myself for her death. If I'd seen her on that Wednesday, would she still be alive?" said Howley
"There was a lot of guilt, should haves, could haves. By putting her in that house, on her own, I created an environment for her to kill herself. Her alcoholism went from bad to worse.... my feeling was I had driven my sister to her own grave."
Howley feels dealing with her estate four years later triggered his betting.
"It gave me an escape, a reason to forget," said Howley.
"It was never about the money. It wasn't addictive behaviour. It was a means of forgetting about the bad things and the experience of my sister.
"It was wrong. I lost £4,000 over four years, so I wasn't exactly good at it. I was even using my work email address and phone which was pretty stupid."
After the issue emerged while he was in Japan, Howley described the "humiliating and embarrassing" experience of admitting his offences to Warren Gatland and team manager Alan Phillips and telling senior players what he had done.
He also revealed similar feelings of letting down his wife and two daughters and admitted the plane journey home was "horrendous".
While he did not want to leave his house for almost three months, he described former Wales head coach Warren Gatland's support as "unwavering" and revealed a decision to see a clinical psychologist over a three-month period helped him understand why he had gambled.
"I wanted to get answers for my behaviour, I needed to for my own and family's sake," said Howley.
"I needed answers to why I was placing these bets. It came back to how I dealt with my sister's death. He concluded it wasn't addictive behaviour.
"I was able to reach a point of closure. I feel at peace with myself and no longer battling my demons, although there is not a day goes by without thinking about Karen."